My Dear Public,

We are so close to spring now that I can very nearly taste it. This is a time of renewal, when the grass grows green again, and I can spend more time on my tether outdoors.

Nothing quite beats stepping out the back door strapped into my harness, and murdering an entire family of mice (my record is 9 dead mice in one day). I can often be seen picking the babies up with my teeth, and then tossing them into the air and trying to catch them on the way down. I'm a regular biblical king when it comes to the baby killing.

Horses are very scary, though. I like to be kept away from them, because I am only small and they are very big.

Ever thine,

Marvin Quincy Longbody-Horriblekitten